that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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