i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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