I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
