Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
