Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
