Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
