Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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