She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
