So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize