Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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