Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
