Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
