Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
