Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you would pick up someone in the library
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
