She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
