I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
