I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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