Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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