i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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