i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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