Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
