According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
