so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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