Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
