So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
