KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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