Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
