..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
