The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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