his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
