This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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