I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize