i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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