Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
sex in a hospital.. check
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
