we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
