I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Two words: nipple clamps
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