he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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