Me. At least after what I've been through.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
