we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
