He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
