My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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