we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
