the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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