She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Your face is a jimmy john
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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