Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
vagina is talking i cant
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
