end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
