PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
