I just threw up on my dentist
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
