my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
