stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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