I'm really into asian looking animals
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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