I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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