Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
