Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
