How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
