So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
