on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
