CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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