Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
its liver damage thursday
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
