You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm going to jail i love you
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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