I just saw a hot homeless man
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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