Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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