This dress was meant to end up on your floor
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
People with herpes should wear stickers.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
